Tofurky Hunting

Last year for Thanksgiving, I roasted a Tofurky roast and wrote a bit about it here.

Seeing as how this year for Christmas I will be on my own, I still wanted to have a festive meal when I got home from working at the pub on Christmas Day (yes, I will be working on Christmas Day). So, I thought I’d see about sourcing another little Tofurky roast.

The thing is, I haven’t been able to find the Tofurky roast on its own here in London–only the Vegetarian Feast made by Tofurky is available. Although the Vegetarian Feast contains the ball of Tofurky I so desire, it also contains a whole load of other sides that are much too much for a single, solo Christmas dinner, especially considering the box states it’s a feast that’ll feed six.

Plus, it’s £29.95. If I want to spend thirty quid on a roast, I won’t be making it myself and there’d better be gold hidden somewhere in the fake meat.

In this quest for the Christmas Tofurky, I’ve phoned up two Planet Organic  shops and been into the Whole Foods shop in Stoke Newington and called the Kensington High street one as well. My phone call to the Whole Foods in Kensington, actually, was inconclusive, because I was, frankly ineptly, transferred to the meat department, and it took speaking with three different people to find someone who realised that, no, I wasn’t talking about getting a turkey but rather a tofurky. I was transferred then elsewhere, to someone else who basically transferred me to a line that hung up on me.

Nice one, Whole Foods. I should note that the gentleman I spoke with at the Planet Organic store at Westbourne Grove actually called the grocery department to see if they could just sell me the Tofurky roast itself out of the box of Vegetarian Feast, which was unnecessary, but very earnest and sweet. At least he knew what I was talking about.

So, friends. If you are in the megastore that is the Kensington High Street Whole Foods, would you mind peeking into the frozen foods section to see if there’s a wee cube-like red box that says “Tofurky Vegetarian Roast”? It will look kind of like the box on the Wikipedia page.

In all likelihood, I’ll probably default to having a nut roast. Any good recommendations on brands of nut roasts? Or perhaps a good recipe that’ll be easy to make on Christmas Eve after a shift at the pub? I have a nut roast in the freezer right now that’ll feed 3-4 people, but smaller options would be welcome.

I leave you with the amazing video from Vegan Black Metal Chef: Holiday Hell Roast. Enjoy, and happy holidays.

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